Mom in France

Holiday Season Starts *Now*!

Here is my only attempt at Halloween decoration. Thanks to Dad & Tammy who brought this to me on their first trip.  Otherwise, I'd have absolutely nothing.  Am I a bad American because I haven't dressed up my kids in Gymboree costumes for the photo-op?  So far Boo knows nothing about Halloween.

However, the retailers definitely know what the Americans know:  Halloween portends the start of the holiday shopping season.  Yesterday I was at the one mall on the Riviera which is publicly celebrating its 40th year (and it shows!).  The Galeries Lafayette - the Macy's of France - was putting up the Christmas window display complete with animatron fluffy animals. I also saw a transvestite in the parking lot (6 feet tall, blond, fuzzy hot-pink shrug) barking into her phone.  I received an "invitation" from the local garden and home-ware center to visit the opening on Saturday of their Christmas village.

So.  I'm skipping over Halloween except for a token costume party tomorrow night (going as a beatnik if you must ask) and heading towards Thanksgiving (turkey's on order!).  The big question:  If you have two kids under 3, and you aren't going to be home during Christmas week, do you still have to get a tree?

Introducing New Boo

I'm not sure my hiatus is over, but I definitely wanted to share the news of our New Boo who decided to join us at midnight on June 28th.

The delivery went great and was blissfully pain free and fast (5 hours start to finish).  Dr. S, obstetrician to the stars, wasn't on call that weekend so I had another OB.  Fine with me.  I had a fantastic night-time view of the sea and the Promenade des Anglais.  We turned the lights down low so we could see. 

At 2am when E left, he reported that on the seedier backside of the hospital, where the parking garage entrance is located, a man and woman fighting on the sidewalk next to their car and the transvestite hookers trying to intervene on her behalf without being attacked themselves. 

We are home now and trying to adjust to having this new life in our family.  Although I'm a little sleep-deprived things are going pretty smoothly.  Boo is a fantastic big brother and although he has a little anxiety about the availability of Maman, he doesn't display jealousy towards the little one, and is always seeking him out to give kisses and to experiment with this new thing. The tiny baby care has mostly come back to me (oh, yeah - the 3am rocking to go back to sleep.  the non-stop eating in the first weeks, the eating dinner with one hand).  Now it's compounded by the 2-year old.  He expresses  "hey what about me?" as joint crying when the new one cries. It's this fabulous fake cry/whine which is WAY more irritating than an actual cry.  And although he's pretty much potty-trained (nighttime diapers only) with us he things the diaper is fun fun fun since baby gets to have one. 

Still, E said to me last week at the end of church that he had this feeling of being a real family now and how wonderful that is.  Indeed.

In the Moment

It's been awhile.  At first I thought I was hiding out again, but actually I realized that I am merely living in the moment.  I haven't stopped to reflect much lately (strange for me), and that includes spending any time sharing these experiences.

What happened?  Spring! 

The picture above I took yesterday in our garden when workers were here installing a wrought-iron barrier around our pool.

But it really started around the time of my last post, Boo's birthday.  I took a Saturday morning off, leaving Boo with E and headed down to Nice on one of the first glorious days of the year.  I had intended to take lots of pictures of the old town to share, but I got so caught up in it that I completely forgot.  Which I think is a good thing.  I'm not very good with active wandering or even leaving Boo without a "good reason" which usually means good for someone else (employer, husband, friends) rather than myself.  On this day I invented a shopping reason to justify my outing and as I wandered through the sunny streets the spell of spring worked on me.  I slowed down.  I began to procrastinate.

However, I had another appointment in Antibes, a 30 minute drive away, so I needed to hustle.  I could see I wasn't going to make so called from my car - the folks at the other end forced me to reschedule and then suddenly there I was with two free hours with no plans, no obligations.  I headed back out into the street and towards the old town with the idea of just walking.  And perhaps lunch.

I found a place on the Marche aux Fleurs that catered to tourists and that was serving brunch.  Lucky for me it was still early in the season & not too many tourists.  I ate my salad slowly and read magazines that I'd bought earlier in the morning, and suddenly remembered my single life of cherished weekend breakfasts alone or with friends in the South End of Boston.  After I finished I headed over to my favorite gelateria on the Place de Justice and sat on the courthouse steps with an immense coconut / strawberry number on a cone  (something I never do now with Boo since I have to share).  I people-watched - the booksellers were in full swing and there were older couples browsing the stalls, teenagers lurking and plenty of strollers weaving their way through the crowd.  Sitting above it all, in the sun, satiated, I remembered my camera and managed a single photo for the day:

The next week passed quickly and suddenly it was Easter.  Boo proved himself to be French by raising a glass at our Easter lunch and saying "Tchin!"

Happy 2nd Birthday, Boo!

  So far so good except my lovely husband is away on the mountaineering trip and kindly left me the digital reflex camera but not the memory cards.  So no pictures yet despite the gradual present opening that's been going on since Sunday.

Party is on Sunday - hoping for no rain!

_{Wayne Thiebaud's cakes really are the perfect celebration image in my book.}

Happy Holidays

OK, It's a summer photo but this is where we're headed this afternoon - my in-laws' place in the Pyrenees.  Because I'm pregnant I'll be going without the traditional Christmas fare of oysters, fois gras and champagne. I'm planning to make up for it in the chocolate category. 

It will be our first Christmas with Boo on the French side of the family and I think they are lucky - he's just begun the understand the concept of presents (toys =good, clothes =boring but mom is excited).  Hopefully no one will be sick - yeah, right - and we'll spend our time outdoors sledding and snowshoeing.

I hope everyone has a very merry holiday, wherever you may be.

Where I've Been...

 

Yes!  I've been hibernating because I'm now 3 months pregnant!  I was hibernating out of a big need for sleep - lots of it.  I managed to get pregnant at the busiest time of the year:  doing a 50 hour a week job in 28 hours, taking care of Booboo, having fun with family visitors, doing career development, and getting ready for Christmas.

Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can say that we've survived mostly intact but I don't feel like I've done much of anything really well - except for making Boo #2!

I've been seeing my ob/gyn since the end of October.  Last month he made the official "declaration" of my pregnancy which means that all my medical expenses will be covered 100% by the social healthcare (even non-pregnancy related).  We had our first ultra-sound yesterday and all is well and we're gearing up for an end of June 2009 arrival.

Mom in France turned 1 at the end of August.  Thanks for reading and all your comments over the past year!  Looking forward to year 2.

Hee-haw!

A friend and I took our kids (2.5, 16 mos, and 9 mos) to the country fair at Caussols up in the back-country (arrière pays - sounds better in french, doesn't it?).  It was small (no festival rides or fireworks) but the local farmers brought their animals which was the main attraction for us to go.

The ambience was really local - no tourists here looking for AOC olive oil tastings or fancy jams.  There were a lot of soap stands though, which I found a bit strange.  There were a couple of makeshift horse posts with not only horses but donkeys, llamas and lots of fowl.  What is it about the french and their fowl?  The coq is the national sports mascot of France, and I've never seen so many types of chickens. 

There was the requisite snack stand selling 'hot dogs' (grilled sausages in baguette: your choice of mustard or ketchup) along with beer and wine.  I loved that the food was being made right there on site: no premade sandwiches or bags of chips.  I had a picnic-delicious hotdog with mustard and a Heineken.  We found a relatively flat and shady spot and pushed and lugged 3 kids and gear while trying not to spill our drinks.  Another family chose the same spot and began to setup right on top of us.  They were organized, complete with table and plastic chairs and I was feeling really annoyed since trying to feed Boo messy pieces of mustardy-hotdog while he's being distracted was a challenge I could have lived without.

My friend with her two kids left for the playground and I stayed with Boo spooning yogurt as quickly as possible.  I was about to make a really nasty comment as I stood up to pack up.  Their table was setup with uncorked wines, 3 beautiful pies and all sorts of bowls and platters.  One of the elderly men asked me if they were chasing me away and at first I gave him a nasty look and then realized that they weren't really trying to edge me out.  In fact, the family's attitude was one of inclusiveness -- Boo and I could have shared in their feast.  My frustration was deflated into sheepishness and I went to finish my beer on the playground with my friend.

We packed up dusty and tired, having touched the donkey, eaten french-style hot dogs and learned, once again, the rules about space are just different in France.

You'll Never Be Bored Again: 1st-Year Reminiscences

The rush of baby-hood to toddler-hood and the day-to-day of being a parent is a rushing stream and I can only barely reach the branch to take a rest and feel and watch the water swirling around us.  It's difficult to stop and think:  Yes, one  year ago I was doing such-and-such with Boo.  Or: one year ago Boo was only inside me and not this active boy I see now.  Or even further beyond:  9 months before was our wedding and little did I know it was the last non-Boo moment of my life.  I hope I enjoyed the champagne and dancing that night.

Two months before Boo's due date we went to the emergency room because I was having mild contractions.  I was put on bed rest and told that I would be starting my maternity leave early.  That first week was really hard:  I felt good and had a really hard time just stopping and spending my day on the sofa.  I felt guilty: I mean, who wouldn't want a great excuse to just rest and hang-out with no responsibilities?  But sitting there for hours my anxiety grew and I was really bored, bored, bored, surfing the internet and watching brain-candy on tv.  A friend arrived on the third day with a bag of such brain-candy and told me to relax: I would never be bored again after this.  Her words ring on an almost daily basis.

As Boo's birthday arrived I realized that the day is really for us, the parents.  Coming one-year full circle I felt, really for the first time, my old self falling away.  I have become something new over the past year: a full-fledged parent.  I could feel again that same spring air that we drove through to the hospital, see the lights of the delivery room and the hospital smell of my bedroom.  I was there again, fleetingly, in those first early days.  And for the first time in a year I mourned my old life.  I mourned carefree weekends and time alone with E.  Of parties and late-night dancing.  Of jet-set life of easy,  one-bag travel.  I realized in taking that breath of reflection that that life is just gone.  Am I sorry?  No - definitely not.  But I still took the time to miss it a little.

If my life if more harried and less me-centered, it is also more rich.  E and I don't just love each other; we also love Boo.  I find that I appreciate my own parents more (especially my Mom), and have renewed affection for my brothers, for family in general.  I have made space also for my new family and Boo's family, my in-laws. I'm also more forgiving about the messiness of life and of the events that happen moment to moment:  It simply goes by so fast. 

At one year E and I can take off the "Trainee" badges and be officially parents. We navigate the current as best we can, enjoy the cool water and the passing scenery.

Happy Birthday, Boo!