Mom in France

A last rose before winter.

This last rose bloomed last week and I took a picture of it on Saturday. It's the last gasp of full-bloom summer well into late autumn.  I know the image of the Riviera is of year round beach frolicking, but yesterday the sun set before 5pm and in the morning I had to scrap the frost off the windshield.  I'm well into winter hibernation mode going to bed with my books and magazines at an embarrassingly early hour.

The Day After

Yeah, we're psyched!

Like thousands of other expats and other interested parties abroad, we stayed up late or got up early.  I'm definitely NOT a late-night person but E stayed up until 4.30.  I got up at 6 as usual, time enough to see some of the good stuff.

Boo and I went to a victory breakfast where, for the first time living in France, I met the largest gathering of non-tourist Americans.  It was a good feeling, but I have to agree with American Mom in London - I felt like I had a kind of hangover all day.

Wednesday is my day off so I haven't faced my colleagues yet - tomorrow.  I made them brownies (in my mind, the best all-American dessert) to celebrate.

Election Day

While everyone in the United States is understandably riveted by the election (it's been a long slog, hasn't it?) and primed a new president, what I've found amazing is how excited everyone one is about the election.  My husband long ago jokingly said that other countries should have representation in congress since the policies made have such an impact on other populations.

It's all America all the time here. The media in France has been enthusastically covereing the elections since the beginning of the year primaries.  There are regular profiles in Le Monde on the candidate and the election in general. All the news channels are devoting more and more time this week to the election, and the major networks have journalists in the US following the campaigns.  Last night, I watched Le Grand Journal, a nightly current events and entertainment talk show, which decided this week to broadcast from New York, where last night's guests included Moby and ObamaGirl. 

But people aren't just interested - they are educated.  My friends and colleagues talk to me about the electoral college, swing states, the cynicism behind McCain's VP choice, Obama's take on the finanical crisis.  My husband, for the last month, has been publishing an election daily email with the lastest events and poll numbers for colleagues at work.  Everyone I know has seen Tina Fey on You Tube and are up on all the jokes. And Obamamania, the celebrity cult, has infiltrated other countries as well.  

Is it amazing that everyone is so up to date on this election?  Or is it amazing that most people in the US couldn't name the presidents of Europe or which party they belong to, or even if they are conservative or liberal?  I remember that collective smug feeling of being the biggest economy and political power in the world, and thinking "Yeah, of course everyone is interested in us. We're leaders."   I'm grateful to be American on this election day, to get to vote, and also to have the opportunity to share this election with my compatriots here in France.  It's exciting to have everyone around me as enthusiastic as me - I feel that , in a way, my vote represents them as well.

Start to Finish

I've been hiding lately, under a mountainous to-do list that kept me from doing anything.  The days of the last month a largely a blur -why?  It's as if every area of my life has accelerated. Work, Boo, Social, Personal.  

At work, after 6 months my project has taken off.  I'm in demand, and finally recognized for what I do.  The people are on my team express optimism.  And yet all I feel is busy.  I yearn for something else.

Boo, now 19 months old, is just the most wonderful child.  Really.  He's funny and really cute.  He's exploring more and more, and although he's not an adventurer his concentration when he's studying something is amazing.  He's really on the brink of boy-hood.  He wants me to be around, close often demanding to be perched on me so he can see the big-person world.  He's much more social with other, children and adults alike.  He rarely has tantrums and when he does they are mild and short-lived.  He's also exhausting, waking up on average at 6.30am. 

Socially, lucky us, we have a big group of friends and it seems with the fall full in swing every weekend we have something.  And we've hired a babysitter for every other Saturday so we go out knowing that we'll be getting up early on Sunday. Oh how I would love a sleep-in!

Personally, I've started a career development program to help me think about the future and make decisions regarding the balance of work/mom life.  My goal is to find something more fulfilling - after going back to work, I feeling a deep apathy towards work after having 8 months off, I decided that if I'm going to work, to be away from Boo during the day, then it might as well be something I enjoy doing.  The process I found much more demanding than I anticipated, but I'm glad I finally got around to doing it (a year after going back to work - I definitely didn't rush it).

With all that going on, I found myself wondering if I could train myself to sleep less. A big sleeper, the answer was, not surprisingly,  no.  All that made me do was need more sleep.

I found that I had obligations, to myself and to others (you) that I couldn't keep.  Things were slipping. 

And I was thinking: what of those hyper-organized women that master multiple children's schedules and activities, make dinner every night and hold down a full-time job and their hair looks good?  Who are those women?  My guess is that they are a fantasy. 

Now I seem to have found a trick that seems to be working.  Do little things every day.  I knit, slowly, a scarf.  I write half a letter, and finish it 3 days later.  No longer do I actually start a task and expect to finish it in one sitting.  Even dinner is like this now - part of it cooked the day before.  And I spend 2 hours every weekend in my office: here (where I write this) there is no one.  Maybe, just maybe, by starting things and not worrying about when they will be finished, they will actually get completed.