American Import

You'll think I'm naive, I know.

A few months ago the Jehovha's Witnesses came to our gate.  Lucky for me that the standard household setup where we live doesn't involve a front-door.  All houses are surrounded by walls or high-hedges are are entered through and automatic gate with a intercom.  When they buzzed I was able to let them hear screaming Boo in the background and they left me alone.  For awhile.

When they came back, on a late spring saturday morning, I was home alone with Boo in the garden.  This time I spoke to them face to face, bascially telling them that we already go to chruch, that Boo was baptized and that we were happy thanks very much.  They were an older couple,completely french.  They had both grown up in this region and could trace their history several generations back. They were epitome of chuch-people.  They were quick to open their bibles and quote.  They were friendly and nice.

The next time they came, some sort of discussion started in earnest.  And I realized that they were in for me, and that it would never stop until I stopped it.  My big mistake was that I read the introductory tract, something like "What the Bible really teaches," and I was ok with most of the common love-your-neighbor themes until I got to the part about not celebrating Christmas.  The argument they had laid out was that all of their beliefs were backed up by Bible reference.  But here was one that was supported because there was no explicit instructions to celebrate Christmas.  Ah ha!  I thought.  I've go them now. 

Of course, you can't change what people believe.  Next time they came around I was prepared, and although I knew I might take awhile, it would be their last visit.  I explained that a) I didn't have time to keep talking with them, b) I already am happy thanks very much, and c) I don't agree with their beliefs.  Of course I tried not to mention that last one, but out it came and I had to discuss and argue with them for a few minutes before they went on their way, for good.

Moving to another country has made me more open, more willing to listen even when I don't agree just to learn more, to be sure I understand.  And to decide for myself when to say yes, and when to say enough's enough.  I think before I was more willing to go along with the crowd, and I'm glad now to see that I've changed.  Even if I ended up arguing with the witnesses.

Comments

[Bill in Portland]

Ah, MiF, surely you knew it was only a matter of time before I, the ex-Witness, weighed in.

Bad news: You may not yet be done. Your old couple may decide there is some sort of personality conflict, and turn you over to a colleague in hopes of better chemistry. Or they may just be indulging you in a cooling-off period, only to return in a month or two to see if your circumstances have changed.

So--how to deal with Witnesses. What follows is relevant to west-coast USA Witnesses, circa 1990; your mileage may vary.

It's crucial to understand that nearly every Witness is damaged in some way--more so than the general population. Virtually all of them have endured the first- or second-hand effects of various addictions and/or abuse--or eventually will, in the case of those born into it. The high-control (not *quite* cult) environment helps them cope and undermines their coping, both at once. The doctrine of a restored paradise earth--in which they remain but the worst elements of the world perish--helps them feel redeemed for lost potential, and even virtuous for having lost it. Their way of life is, to them, the only possible "true" one; in insider lexicon, their faith is called "the Truth" (capital T). You are unlikely to change the outlook of any Witness who is still so fervent as to be calling at your door.

They look up scriptures at meetings three nights a week--plus extracurricula--so any discussion of scripture and the doctrine derived from it is not likely to be a fair fight. Instead, you might try working the basic themes. Witnesses are long on justice (and judging) and cause-and-effect, but short on mercy and grace. They are, therefore, more comfortable in the Old Testament, in Paul's contributions to the New, and in Revelations. They are less comfortable elsewhere in the New Testament. Conjure up what you know and remember about mercy and grace--and compare and contrast that with the Witness practices of disfellowshipping (shunning) and reproof for deviation from a very restrictive, prescriptive code of behavior; and their somewhat creepy longing for the wicked to meet a violent end en masse during the time of reckoning. This may give you the upper hand (if so, just for fun, invite them to join you at your church), though you will likely never "defeat" them.

All that assumes that you are enjoying an occasional go-round with them. If not, here is the most likely scenario for banishing them from your doorstep: Tell them that you have investigated the Bible to your satisfaction and that either you have rejected the idea that it's God's word (or rejected God) or that you feel your church best represents it. In any case, tell them that you feel the Witness faith and organization does not represent the truth, and that you insist they place your address on their congregation's "do not call" list (though I don't know what that's called in French). That's kind of the key; you want to be on *the congregation's* "not" list, otherwise you'll just get handed off.

Hope that helps! I think it's great that you're engaging them. Steve and I had respect and fondness for the householders who engaged us, and we enjoyed hearing their perspectives. But then, we likely did not represent typical Witnesses, since we eventually left.

[Grace]

I have to agree with both you! I find myself more accepting of other people, and more importantly, of myself.

At the same time, there's nothing wrong with shutting down "pointless" conversations... :-)

[cybill]

Hey, I'm just learning that too. Yesterday I had dealings with a company and I was not getting along with the person representing them, so I just asked to speak with someone else. Simple, but a big thing for me. As for the Jehova's the funny/sad thing is that they really think they are helping but they should know that their heaven is already full!