Dread

I have my first business trip since October 2006 next week.  It's one night in Frankfurt.  The first night without Boo.

I think (hope) that Boo will be fine.  But will I be fine? 

For the record, I used to travel a lot.  In 2005 I took 28 business trips.  Most to Frankfurt (an unpleasantly familiar place which I thought I'd put behind me.  Why couldn't it be Munich or Berlin?), but also some long-haul.  In 2006, up to that last trip at the end of October I went the US 7 times. 

I feel like I've done my share and now I just want to stay home.  Or if I travel, I want Boo to come too.

Part of my dread has to do the the job at hand.  Since I've gone back to work (or maybe long before, but I was getting married, and then I was pregnant, so distracted) I've been so ambivalent about work.  I'm not happy or engaged with the projects given to me, which are below my ability.  It's like I'm waiting for something to come along, but what? 

How can I get unstuck? 

Comments

[Jessica]

Hi K. How was your trip? I can't imagine being away from Beli for an overnight. I, too, am experiencing work angst. Have you thought about doing something totally different? I'm looking into selling baby clothes (sewn and knitted) on Etsy as a possible transition away from the desk job that I so loathe. Let's keep each other posted on our progress! Many hugs from NYC.

[Parisienne Mais Presque]

Oops, that comment obviously wasn't meant for this post. I'm not paying attention! I did want to say here "bon courage" and that I understand your feelings of ambivalence about work. I'm lucky that I don't have to travel for this job, although I have a pretty long commute that will cut into my time with le Petit. It is hard to balance it all. Make sure to relax and do something nice for yourself on your trip or just after you get back.

[Parisienne Mais Presque]

Had much the same experience when I arrived, and the prefecture in Nanterre is just as ugly. I'm a citizen now, and while I guess I will always be between cultures -- as will le Petit and Boo -- I definitely feel French. Just differently so, I guess!