When thinking of writing this blog, I imagined that I would write concise, erudite posts full of insight & wisdom about my life here in France, and in particular, being a mom in France. I figured I could draft - edit - redraft - publish all in a week's time. Ha! Reality has set in. If I want to publish at all, I just have to get one with it, and like the rest of my new mom-life, it will just be what it is. Any idea of "excellence" or perfection is over and done with.
I went back to work two weeks ago, around the same time I decided to start this blog. Everyone has asked me how it is to go back to work and how things are working out with the nanny, aka "nounou" (I found out later, by accident that this is short for "nourrice" or nurse/caretaker)
Over the summer, while I was on leave, the ambivalence that I've felt about my job persisted,and while I missed some of the people at work, I didn't really miss the job. I imagined not going back. And then imagined what that would do the shoe budget. I also wasn't totally sure that I would be that much happier staying at home with Boo 24/7 and officially taking on all the running of the household duties, alleviating some of that from E. I decided on a compromise and went back 4-days a week, with Wednesdays off. A decision that feels good still.
As the day approached to go back, I felt more or less at peace. No real regrets of leaving Boo, and I was looking forward to some clear advantages: daily grown-up lunch that I didn't have to prepare. Regular social interaction. What surprised me was the constant talking. I went from a quiet house with a baby to non-stop yak yak yak. Something I'd never realized before. I mean, I know it's obvious that office life is a kind of society with its own rules, interpersonal politics, gossip, etc., but I never really noticed how much blah blah of meaningless talking goes on. And how I participated in all that. It was an unpleasant surprise. The good thing so far is having lunch, working to help people solve problems, and I find myself less exhausted at the end of the day from work than from a day with Boo. Which makes coming home to him a pleasure.
The nounou, Mme B, is terrific. Her house, a solid middle-class house a mile away from our own, is down to earth and an oasis of calm. This is not a place where the children have structured activities or lots of overtiring outings. They play, sleep and eat. The nounou has no more than 3 children per day (like most things in France, it's regulated -- a reassuring thing), and they are all under the age of 3, when children go to preschool. Boo adapted easily, although it was a bit harder for me. Despite my willingness to go back to work, the week before he started I was a wreck thinking about how I was going to leave him behind. I declined to drop him off on the first day, giving E that duty. Since then though, she's done a good job helping me adjust, which I guess is also an important part of her job. We give each other little reports at the beginning and end of each day and marvel over the things he's done, and how he develops. I find it's actually fun to share those things.
Today is our second Wednesday and last week's was busy with adminstrative business. Today I've promised us a quiet play day at home.
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